Fear is Killing Me (or Holding Me Back Anyway)

"Fear is Killing Me (or Holding Me Back Anyway)." 8/15/13. Marker and pen. 8x8".
“Fear is Killing Me (or Holding Me Back Anyway).” 8/15/13. Marker and pen. 8×8″.

I’ve sold art to strangers before but only one person I don’t know has ever bought a “custom” cartoon. So here’s what stalled me in making this…
Thought #1: don’t think I know this person, but what if I actually do and just don’t remember? Then if I give an impersonal cartoon, I’ll feel like a jerk.
Thought #2: Maybe I should do some Facebook reconnaissance, see what I can find out about the person and see if that gives me any ideas.
Thought #3: That feels/seems weird.
Thought #4: Maybe I just make a cartoon about my anxiety regarding this?
Thought #5: That’s lame.
Thought #6: That’s honest. And I’m really grateful for the support, but I don’t need to put myself through this kind of anxiety over $25. Pretty sure that’s the last thing this person intended/wanted when they paid for this. And now that it’s past due, I’m just making it worse with every day that goes by. I’ll just make what I’m feeling and send a free print to make up for the delay.

So this was the last of my Kickstarter rewards that needed to be sent out. I finished it just now, but it was almost entirely done at last night’s show, after every thing was all set up, but before I started talking to people and watching bands. I feel a lot better now that it’s done. It’s been on my to do list, every day, since June. I wouldn’t have ordinarily colored it, so – doing that – I feel like that little bit extra also helps to compensate for the lack of personalized meaning (for the recipient) and the tardiness. I feel relieved.

And I’m excited for tonight.

Say somethin'.