18 days clean in 2016

I’ve been such a reckless fuck-up that the state might put me in jail.

That’s pretty fucking crazy when I pause to really think about it.

My heart’s stopped a few times. I’ve been arrested, committed, and hospitalized more times than I can even remember now.

Why am I still alive?

I’ve taken everything for granted. I’ve wasted everything. And yet here I am.

I don’t know how my story ends but I have a really hard time envisioning any kind of future. I’m staying clean but I’m not sure what for.

I’m still working on my “Suicide Stitches” series. Tonight I’ve been sewing up “Shitty Children.” If you look close at my blurry iPhone photo, you can see that the biggest tear goes across the entire painting. It’s definitely coming together though. And this one was especially bad. In addition to the rips, the frame that the canvas is stretched over was snapped in three places. Earlier today this painting was nothing more than a crumpled pile. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made on it so far.

Did you see I’ve got a webstore up on my agency’s website now? I don’t even know if it’s live and processing payments yet but check it out.