Everything Works Out Exactly as It Should (is Something I’ve Been Trying to Get Myself to Believe Again)

I’ve been seriously killing it this month and I’m super excited. I finished My “Everything 2.0” painting, got it photographed, sold, made prints (including a huge 3×3′ giclée on canvas), sold a bunch, and am really excited about the new painting I started on Saturday. I have lots of events coming up that I’m looking forward to and this last month’s events have all gone really well. (Not to be CRASS but – if I did as well every month as I’ve done in March, I’d be SET).

Anyway, the statement for this painting is literally just a transcript of the text that’s scattered across the canvas. I’m a little embarrassed to post it because the person that I wrote about may very well read it but hopefully she’ll not be too weirded out and know that it’s not a big deal.

More importantly, there’s something that I allude to several times and dance around before finally just OUTRIGHT saying what it is. It’s the thing that’s had the biggest impact on my adult life and the thing that I’m most scared to ever acknowledge. But it influences just about EVERY THING THAT I DO and – for that reason – I’m proud of myself for making art that does explicitly acknowledge it. In a sense, any time I make something that doesn’t reference that event, it’s a little bit dishonest. Because it’s always on my mind. It seeps into everything. So while it’s totally possible that someone reading this will be learning about it for the first time and will consequently make negative judgments about me, I feel like I’m doing the right thing by talking about it. My art’s always been all about honesty and vulnerability. If I want to stay true to that, I can’t be constantly leaving out of my work this thing that has so much power over me. I need to be transparent and just hope that I’ve shown the world enough of my heart for people to know that I am not someone who hurts people. I’m a sensitive little diaper baby who worries about even annoying other people. (In that spirit, let me also throw out a TRIGGER WARNING right up front). But the last thing I would ever do is anything to intentionally and seriously harm another human being.

With that said, here’s my newest painting and the text written into it…

“Everything Works Out Exactly as It Should (is Something I’ve Been Trying to Get Myself to Believe Again)” 3/16/25. Acrylic paint and pigment ink. 40×40″.

This is the longest I’ve ever gone without falling in love. I think it’s probably because I’m old and NOT CUTE ANYMORE (so there are fewer girls interested-in-me for me to fall in love with). I’m also definitely not as BOLD as I once was though. A big part of that is the TRAUMA of what happened in summer 2015. But I DIGRESS… 

It could also be that – I’ve convinced myself my next girlfriend needs to be someone who does things (like me). Someone actively creative and inspiring, with things in her life that she’s passionate about. And then of course – because I’m broken – she also has to look a certain way. Because I need people to see me as someone who gets the girl everyone else wants. That NARROWS THE POOL.

But last month, I met such a girl. I was impressed, (I think) genuinely interested, and it seemed like maybe she might kinda like me too. (She gave me her phone number (unprompted) when she had no reason to give me her phone number). For a minute, it seemed like it might-maybe, could-potentially be a thing, but I never tested it. I never said anything direct or even flirty enough to get a response that I could gauge. And then I stopped interacting ‘cause my feelings were hurt by something that probably shouldn’t have hurt my feelings in the first place. But I figured if there were anything there, she’d find a way to let me know. But she didn’t.

The prints I sell of my drawing “Everything Works Out Exactly as It Should” are – I don’t want to sell them anymore. The photograph from which they’re made is no good because I took it before I knew what I was doing. But that print sells a lot so I wanted a replacement.

I started a new drawing based on the original but wasn’t happy. I changed the caption to “Everything Works Out Exactly as It Should – EXCEPT FOR THIS.” That didn’t make it feel any better.

The night I met the girl, I’d just finished the RV and was really proud of it. I had the notion in my head that I wanted to show it to her, but it’d have been weird to ask this girl I’d just met to (1) leave an event, (2) walk down the dark street, and (3) follow me into my vehicle/home. But then, at the end of the night, just as I finished packing up and was prepared to drive off, there she was on the sidewalk, gesturing at me like, “hey – what’s this?”  I asked her if she wanted to come in and see, she did, and she wound up hanging out/talking for at least 30 minutes (even though it was 1am and we both needed to get going).

She told me she believes everything works out exactly as it should, even when she can’t see how. When she can’t see “the full picture” yet, she said that’s okay because she will eventually – so she just has faith in the meantime.

I’ve been reminding myself of that lately but it’s a challenge. When I first got out of rehab, started as an artist, and drew the original “EWOEaIS,” I was in a wild place spiritually. I’d finally let go of my DOGMATIC NIHILISM and “nothing fucking matters” attitude and was in the unfamiliar territory of gratitude and faith – not [faith] in anything specific but just generally. My hostility toward religion was even gone and I had this kinda hippy-dippy, go-with-the-flow, everything-is-cool-for-everyone sorta mentality.

That faded over time (especially after summer 2015) and my old “nothing matters”/“I don’t believe in anything” mindset returned to fill the gap.

As that girl and I texted over the next week or so, I had a thought: “Fuck that drawing; I should make my big work-in-progress painting into my new ‘Everything Works Out’ [and incorporate the conversation we’d had].” That was a game changer. The painting needed direction, this felt like the right one, and I figured Rick (to whom it was pre-sold) would like it. But it needed an update to be real and honest because I no longer believe everything works out exactly as it should.

“Everything Works Out Exactly as It Should (is Something I’ve Been Trying to Get Myself to Believe Again).” 

Which is absolutely, painfully true.

It’s really, really hard for me to imagine what good could ever come from that incident in summer 2015. (And let’s just say it: I was accused of a rape that I didn’t do).

Nothing’s been the same since. It’s been much worse. It took 9 years for me to work up the courage to even try to have a life again. In those years, I thoroughly believed I’d never again be as happy or successful as I had been before the accusation. And I’m still not sure that’s wrong. But I’m trying very hard to believe (and prove) otherwise. I’m working to rebuild my art career and livelihood and – ever since my last relationship fell apart and I got clean – I’m trying to find love again.

So far, the first part’s going better than the second. Not well enough that I’m satisfied but well enough that I probably should be. (At least considering how little time I’ve been back at it). With regard to both though, I’m hopeful. I don’t believe they’ll work out, but I’m pretty sure they won’t if I’m not giving it my all. So that’s what I’ve been doing.

Maybe that’s why I met that girl: just to hear her tell me that just because I can’t SEE how everything will work out – that doesn’t mean that it won’t.

Maybe the partnership and career I’ll have someday will only be possible because of what I went through ten years ago. It’s tough to envision, but I’d like to believe it.


That’s where the painting’s text ends. For anyone that’s just now learning about what I went through ten years ago, I hope you don’t now think I’m A VIOLENT SCUMBAG and do, in fact, believe me when I say that (as rare as they may be) false accusations do happen. I obviously wasn’t convicted of anything but it was still enough to shatter me. Maybe that’s because I’m so sensitive and maybe I let it effect me more than I should have, but… it really has taken all the strength I can muster to even be writing something like this right now. To even be going out in public like I have been. I’m pretty terrified to even be typing these words right now. It’s not something I want to publicize because I still worry that there are people out there who know nothing about what really happened but will still try to use it to hurt me.

I could probably ramble on about this forever, so I’m gonna cut myself off here. On a more positive note, I’ve got a handful of events scheduled in the Sarasota and Tampa areas (and one in Lakeland this weekend) and I’ll be regularly adding more, so be sure to keep an eye on the Events page.

And (of course) if you’d like to buy a print of this painting, you can find it in my webstore. The original painting is already sold but (like I said) I do have a 3×3′ giclée on canvas for sale, so reach out if you’re interested in that. It’s NINE TIMES BIGGER than the 12×12″ prints and looks AWESOME.

Thank you for your time, attention, and consideration. I know what it’s like to have lost everything, I’m so grateful for what I’ve been able to get back so far, and I know that none it would be possible without your support. It really does mean the world to me.


If you’re not already, follow me on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook for more regular updates! And if you missed it, check out the entry I just posted YESTERDAY for my other new painting: “Motivation (Will Work for Food (maybe) / Will Beat Off on Live Webfeed For Perfect Love and Acceptance).”


Run Free, Spit Fire, Yell at Clouds

“Run Free, Spit Fire, Yell at Clouds.” 1/11/18. Acrylic paint. 40×30″.

This painting was commissioned by a wonderfully supportive patron named Maura, as a tribute to her friend, Tommy, after his passing.

I knew Maura a little through emails but didn’t know Tommy at all. Honoring someone I didn’t know was a little intimidating. It felt like a big responsibility and I wanted to do a good job. 

After looking over his social media, I was able to paint little allusions to his interests, but I knew the text was gonna have to carry most of the weight. I needed something that would pay tribute to Tommy and – hopefully – bring some comfort to Maura and anyone else Tommy left behind that would see my work.

A week or so in, I saw a feature column about suicides and empathy that triggered something. I started journaling about it in the silver quadrant of the painting, but it didn’t really go anywhere. If it weren’t for the bit where I name a few friends, cut myself off, and instead say “WHOEVER READS THIS AND WANTS ME TO BE SAD WHEN THEY DIE” – and the fact that that gave me a shitty little smile – I probably would’ve painted over it. I’d mildly succeeded in amusing myself but certainly wasn’t meeting the bar I’d set to honor Tommy. I took another shot at it in the green quadrant:

This painting was commissioned for Tommy, who’s not with us anymore. Maura told me about this poem he liked. Asked if I could incorporate it somehow. The last part was his favorite. “I was a dog on a short chain and now there’s no chain.” I (think) I get it. It’s about being free. Which I can appreciate. I mean, I am a STRAY DOG. (Even if I sometimes consider trading that freedom for  the warmth of a home). Now - thinking of Tommy and the way his chain’s really been cut… Death is the ultimate freedom. It’s freedom from everything that fucks us up in life. AND it’s a home (of sorts) and…

That train of thought hit a wall. I was rambling again, lost, trying stumble into meaning.

What the fuck am I even talking about? I don’t know anything about anything. I wanna believe that Tommy and all the people we care about but aren’t here anymore - that they’re all free and okay and “singing loud” and safe and “warm” and… I don’t know. Maybe they are. Maybe it’s a nice thought at least. 
Fuck it. You know what? (You know where my fucking name comes from?) “Thrash life! No death!” And I think that’s the same sentiment that Tommy appreciated in that poem. Forget all that shit that comes with “the ultimate chain” or the freedom that comes in death. Tommy wanted to break the chains here on earth and LIVE FREE. So that’s what we ought to do and that’s what I wanna focus on. I wanna RUN FREE, SPIT FIRE, YELL AT CLOUDS, sing dumb songs, and thrash life. This one’s for you, Tommy. I hope you’re out there, fucking shit up in the ether.

It’s been six years since I painted “Run Free” and wrote those passages. Looking back at it today as I finally write a statement to accompany the painting, I can’t help but think of my friend, Steph, who just died. I didn’t cry right when I found out she was gone, but I did cry when I woke up the next morning, thinking about how trapped and hopeless she must have felt. We’d not been in regular contact for a while but she was important enough to me that – had I known how close to the edge she was – I’d have told her, “If you don’t want to go back to Jacksonville – fuck it – come here. You can stay with me. Or just try something – anything – different from what you’re doing now.

Could I have fixed her? No. But we could’ve spent time together. We could’ve laughed. And maybe she’d have seen that things weren’t so bad outside of the shitty little world she’d constructed around herself back in New Orleans. Maybe she’d have found it in her to build something new.

Life is hard enough for anyone, but when you don’t believe in anything and you’re miserable, it’s pretty tough to justify not killing yourself via overdose (intentional or not) – or even arguing to a suicidal friend that they wouldn’t be better off dead. But life can also be pretty great every now and then. Being in love. Genuine, caught-off-guard laughter. Even just seeing something that reminds you of someone you care about. Mischief. PUNK ROCK. Setting a goal and meeting or exceeding it. Making something that’s meaningful to you and then OTHER PEOPLE TELLING YOU IT’S ALSO MEANINGFUL TO THEM. Shit – last night I posted my first TikTok video that actually seemed to get some attention from strangers who are now following me. 

Some of these things (okay – mostly that last one) are pretty trivial. But they’re also ENERGIZING. They FEEL GOOD. Even with friends dying, and some girl breaking my stupid fucking heart, and feeling lonely (and like a 38 year-old fuck-up who’s starting from scratch again, barely able to support himself, AND (so far) NOT SELLING ANYWHERE NEAR AS MANY PRINTS FROM MY FRESHLY LAUNCHED WEBSTORE AS I’D HOPED). 

If we don’t know what the alternative is – and if it may well be simply ceasing to exist, why not try to make the most of the time we do have? What do we have to lose? 

And what can we do to honor the people we’ve lost?

Not much. But we can live in ways that would make them smile if they could only see us. And maybe they can. (Probably they can’t). But LET’S JUST SAY THEY CAN and do it anyway. If nothing else, it’ll make it easier for us to keep going. And we might as well. Those little moments and good feelings are worth living for.


Being a commission, this painting is already sold, but 16×12-inch prints are available (and BEAUTIFUL) in my new webstore. And if you’d like to commission your very own original painting, I would (of course) love to hear from you.

Your support (sharing/reposting, buying, whatever) means everything to me. Thanks for reading.


Stupid Kids With Stupid Dreams

The painting, “Stupid Kids With Stupid Dreams” is about two friends throwing caution to the wind and making the most of life by focusing on what really matters to them. The story of the painting – as a physical object – takes a darker turn, rife with petty, interpersonal drama. If you’re not interested in that and just want the good stuff, I’ve rigged this page to let you skip past the behind-the-scenes hurt feelings and just get to the painting and its positive message.


Origin

One of my (oldest and very best) friend’s girlfriend hit me up to commission a painting. The two of them were moving in together and she wanted to give it to him as a surprise housewarming gift. She paid for it, I set to work, and – before I finished – he dumped her because he’s afraid of commitment. I asked her what I should do with the painting once finished. She said to just go ahead and give it to him anyway.

Before that would happen, he tried to get her to take him back (even though this was the second time he’d dumped her for no good reason). This time she said no. He was devastated even though – again – HE WAS THE ONE WHO DUMPED HER.

His ex had chosen this gift because of how much he loved my art. Seeing as it no longer needed to be a surprise, I figured I could cheer him up a little by telling him about it.

And he said that he was too heartbroken to want to hang it on his wall because it would remind him of her and upset him.

That hurt my feelings pretty badly. He’d bought some of my prints before and some of my less expensive drawings, but now he was finally going to have his own original Sammy thrashLife PAINTING (for free!) and he… didn’t want it?

Abandonment

“Dude – how about instead of thinking of her when you look at it, you think of ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND. WHO PAINTED THIS ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.”

“No” he told me. “It’s too painful; it’ll just remind me of her.”

I tried to talk sense to him. Reminded him that, in a few months, he wouldn’t give a shit about this girl anymore – that there’d be another girl for him to take for granted – BUT THAT THIS PAINTING WOULD BE HIS FOREVER. Not only as something to enjoy on the wall (simply because he likes my artwork) but as a reminder of our decades-long friendship.

Nope. Unconvinced. He didn’t want it. And, again, I can’t stress how much this hurt my feelings. But I stopped arguing and just accepted it. And then was in no rush to finish it because… well, why would I be now? And then I relapsed and stopped painting for a long time anyway.

Time passes

A year or so later, I got clean for a minute and finally finished. He was still living on the other side of the country (as he had been for many years) but was in town visiting so I brought it up with him again and – yes – now he did want it. But he was moving back here soon so – rather than take it back across the country with him, only to have to move it down with the rest of his stuff in a month, he’d just get it from me once he returned.

In the years since he’d moved away, every time he came to visit, we’d met up as soon as his plane landed and only split back up when he was on his way back to the airport.

But when he moved back, I barely heard from him. We kept sort of making plans but it just kept not happening. Considering how much time we’d spent together and how well we’d gotten along every time he’d visited (most recently, just a month prior) it was pretty strange.

A few years have passed now and I could probably count on one hand the number of times we’ve hung out since then. Even though we live five minutes away from each other.

Two sides to every story (this is my side)

I don’t wanna talk shit but the simple truth is we’re not really friends anymore and he’s not really the same person any more. His priorities have changed, his taste in music has changed, his politics have changed, his whole worldview and ideology have changed. We don’t really have anything in common anymore. Just one example: those “stupid dreams” of ours that this painting is about? He gave up on his. Which – as I acknowledge in the text on the canvas – is fine in/of itself. It’s the reasons he gave up on it – which are also pretty emblematic of why we don’t get along anymore.

Initially, I thought maybe he’d come around some day. After all, we went through something similar twenty years ago when he had an identity crisis at the end of our teenage years and decided that he no longer liked everything he’d loved and identified with (and shared in common with me). But a couple years later, his crisis ended and he was himself again. I thought maybe this was just  “round 2” of that – a mid-life crisis of sorts. But it’s been four years and it’s starting to seem like less of an identity crisis than maybe just that he never really had an identity to begin with.

Rant

Call me crazy but I feel like there are core elements of who each of us is as a person that shouldn’t really change. Or maybe I’m just a “stupid kid” who never grew up. I’m pretty sure that’s how he would describe me at this point. But you know what? I’d rather be a stupid kid with a stupid dream, scrappin’ my way through life, doing what I love than [allow me to role play for a moment] an “adult” working a shit job and making monthly payments on my status symbol car – that I only have so I can condescend to people about “work ethic,” “growing up,” and how anyone living in poverty “just isn’t trying hard enough” (while seemingly overlooking the fact that even I’m selling coke on the side just to afford my performative lifestyle – totally oblivious to what would happen if I got arrested and how much that would complicate everything – and how that’s exactly what’s happened to thousands before me – people with far fewer options than my privileged ass had (and how maybe poverty isn’t just a question of effort)).

I’m getting a little bogged down in the minutiae of what I don’t love about this guy’s transformation… What I’m saying is he’s not someone I relate to anymore. I don’t understand him anymore. I miss my friend. The one who teared up when he finally did see this painting for the first time because it expressed a sentiment he still understood then.


The actual text in the painting

Trying to make it in/as a pop punk band in 2019, as an artist at any time, or even just trying to forge a REAL, EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING (okay, I’m only half-joking about that last one) – it wouldn’t be unfair to say that you’d have to be pretty dumb to (1) believe that any of these were even potentially worthwhile endeavors or (2) to shape your life toward the achievement of such a goal. After all…

Q: What’re the odds that any of these things could possibly pan out at all, let alone in any lasting, long-term sense?

A: NOT GOOD.

But here we are, at it all the same. IT’S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. There may well come a day when we’re forced to accept that it’s just not gonna happen for us. A day when we have to give up, scrap the dream, and just move on. And you know what? That’s okay. ‘Cause – in the meantime – here we are: taking aim, firing shots, and doing the shit we love. We deal with rejection, frustration, doubt, and more. But we also have fun. We get the highs and the lows. We’ve had more wild experiences and adventures than most people will ever even read about. And our shit’s real and it’s ours. We did it. Whatever happens, we’ve ALREADY WON. You can put that shit on my tombstone ‘cause, even if I die tonight, I’ll know I made it count.

“Stupid Kids With Stupid Dreams” 6/27/20. Acrylic paint. 24×24″.

Reflecting

I don’t feel great about the blog entry for this (one of my more positive paintings) being so focused on something negative – especially considering that quite a bit of my recent work has at least partly been in a similar vein. But life can’t always be rainbows and puppy dogs. Still,I know that I need to watch myself because it’s not a great sign for my mental health that I’ve been uncharacteristically preoccupied with interpersonal strife. Anger, spite, resentment – these things aren’t good for me. And (if I can be psychologically vain for a moment) they don’t look good on me either. This turmoil and drama isn’t reflective of the person I see myself as or want to be seen as.

Which isn’t to say that anything I’ve written isn’t true. But the fact that I’m focusing my energy on those things instead of something more positive – that’s the problem. Everyone has bad experiences; everyone has friendships that fall apart. Writing about those things isn’t bad in itself; I just know that if I were happier, I would be less inclined to write about them and – even when I did – I’d filter them through a more constructive lens and finish with a more uplifting conclusion. But even that awareness is a good sign. I’m grateful that I’m still well enough to at least recognize what’s going on. And these kinds of acknowledgments are good first steps in a better direction.


Anyway – about the painting (WHICH IS ITSELF VERY POSITIVE AND UPLIFTING AND FULL OF LIGHT), unclaimed as it is – I’ve got it on my wall until I find a buyer that’ll appreciate it. LET ME KNOW IF THAT’S YOU! I’ve also got 12×12-inch prints of it (as always, hand-numbered and signed by yours truly). Pick one up if you wanna support a stupid kid with a stupid dream.

Update (April 2025): This painting is currently hanging in THE RINGLING MUSEUM OF ART. If you’re reading this anytime prior to July 30th, you can go SEE IT IN PERSON!


The World Can Be Cold and Mean But I’m Gonna Try to Do My Best Anyway

"The World Can Be Cold and Mean But I’m Gonna Try to Do My Best Anyway." 8/13/14. Acrylic paint. 60x40".
“The World Can Be Cold and Mean But I’m Gonna Try to Do My Best Anyway.” 8/13/14. Acrylic paint. 60×40″.

I’m facing felony charges for possession of a controlled substance. These are not old charges pending from my days on heroin; I was arrested earlier this month for possession of Adderall, the prescription medication I’ve been on for nearly ten years. Adderall is one of those meds that can’t be refilled with a phone call each month. The patient has to actually go in to the doctor’s office for an appointment every thirty days, physically pick up the prescription, and bring it to the pharmacy. My prescription lapsed before I found a doctor, here in Chicago, and a friend with a prescription gave me a few pills to hold me over until I could get my own. (I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow but – a little late).

My case is still pending but the offer from the state that’s currently on the table includes two years of supervised probation, a shit ton of fines and fees, community service, and enrollment in a substance abuse treatment program. Everyone can always benefit from counseling but, these days, I get invited to speak at substance abuse treatment facilities; I don’t need to be a patient in one.

At the moment, I’m optimistic about a resolution to my case but don’t necessarily have any reason to be. For a while, it looked like the state was actually going to push for a conviction and, possibly, even a jail sentence. No one (defense lawyers included) seems to care that I’m not actually abusing drugs or that my entire life and career are pretty much based on that fact. No one cares that I help other people suffering with addiction and other mental illnesses, on a daily basis, both directly and through my art and writing. In the eyes of the court, I’m just some faceless degenerate that got busted with some pills. Just to get released on bail, I had to pay $1,025 in cash. Getting that money together (without even being allowed access to my bank account) through collect calls in a city three hours from anywhere that I know anyone was not an easy thing to do. Being stuck in Illinois, on probation in Normal, is not conducive to what I’m doing with my life. Two years of criminal fines are not in the budget. And god forbid I somehow fuck up, get tagged with a “violation of probation” and actually get put in jail after all. I’m caught up in a shitty, unfeeling system that doesn’t care about me and it hurts and it’s scary.

This was the last painting I finished before my arrest so the journal written on the canvas isn’t actually about this situation but … it seems even more relevant now than it was when I wrote it.

My world gets pretty dark some days. I try to smile, try to have fun, encourage other people to do the same but sometimes the world just spits at you. At me. Negativity is poisonous and infectious. I don’t let tragedy beyond my immediate vicinity affect me these days but a single mean word directed my way can still obliterate me.

I understand why people kill themselves and I don’t fault them for it but, today, I’m gonna try my best to not succumb to my darker impulses. I’m gonna listen to pop punk songs with my friend, Chris, and I’m gonna walk into five galleries, bare my soul, and try to get my funny faces and emotional instability up on their walls. I believe in myself and what I do and if you don’t get it or you don’t like me, that’s nothing I need to focus my energy on.

The world can be cold and mean but I’m gonna try to do my best anyway.


This painting already sold but BEAUTIFUL 12×18-inch prints are available in the webstore. They’re one of my favorites.


Weird War

"Weird War." 8/20/13. Mixed media. 9x12".
“Weird War.” 8/20/13. Watercolor paint, watercolor pencil, marker, pen, and oil pastel. 9×12″.

I started (and finished) this piece in the van, but also worked on it at the Ski Haus in Carbondale, (where Rational Anthem played with The Heat Tape, Future Virgins, and Hate Waves).

My primary purpose in creating art is emotional balance / regulation. Sometimes though, when I don’t like what comes out of me, the process can actually throw me off base a little bit.

I’m pretty fragile. Little things fuck with my head. I sometimes forget that I can write private journals that don’t have to go online immediately. When that happens, I lose one of my tools.

Noelle said this one looks like a warzone. From the beginning, I was pitting the top right and bottom left against each other, alternately considering cropping one or the other out. It took a long time to bring them together in the center in a way that felt right to me. I think the combination of textures (through the layering of the different materials) helped a lot with that. So did journaling (privately) in order to really examine the forces behind my feelings. Taking a suggestion made by a friend a few weeks back, I wrote on the back of the piece. As I wrote on the front of “Iowa,” I don’t need to put my every thought up in lights for public scrutiny.

Noelle works early on Wednesday morning, so we decided that tonight (in Valdosta) is the last show before we head home. We’re running more than a little late, but I’m not stressing it anymore. I don’t know how tonight will shape up, but I’m excited for whatever’s coming next.

This piece is currently listed for sale in my webstore.