Chicago, 7/29/14

It’s been longer than usual since my last update. I’m out on Michigan Ave right now, the same spot I’ve posted up with a painting and a table of prints for the last week and a half (the corner of Van Buren, I think). It’s gone phenomenally well pretty much every day that I’ve come out; I’m making way more money than someone who paints funny faces for a living should. Today is one of the few exceptions. I’m not sure of it’s the weather or something that I’m doing differently.

I’ve got a bunch of new, finished paintings that I haven’t added to the site yet ’cause I’m waiting on getting them professionally photographed. It looks like that should be happening sometime this week though. I’m really proud of them.

About a year ago, something happened. I made a painting about it. It’s the only piece of art I’ve never shared online in any way because I felt like it was too private. Something like that’s sort of / maybe happening again now. I make art for myself but I can’t pretend that a big part of that isn’t the validation I get when I share something. Knowing that I won’t want to share something if I incorporate certain details fucks up my shit. Art is very much my therapy these days. In that way, this situation reminds me of December 2012, when I was still living in Tranquil Shores and I was unwilling to tell my counselor about the shit in and out of my head that was fucking me up.

That was a little more serious because my life was on the line over it. There’s nothing happening today that’s gonna kill me but I’m noticing the ways in which I’m behaving differently. In moments, I catch myself feeling bitter. Smiling less. My humor (which I’m told is already pretty dark but doesn’t usually feel that way to me) is … striking me as pretty dark lately. My smiles are meaner. And – as always – this problem I’ve got, I know it’s not a huge deal and (honestly) I don’t even know if it really is a problem. (I might be making something out of nothing – or something out of very little). Like I said: it’s nothing that’s gonna kill me.

I guess that’s all I got for now. Traffic at my street table is slow, I knew I could use a little journaling, and -what the hell- I might as well make a fucking update out of it ’cause that’s what I do, right? (Pay attention to my every whim and thought, everyone).

And since every entry should have a photo, here’s one I forgot to share when it was first emailed to me by Jacksonville artist, Andrea Ashmead. Back in April, she painted me while I was painting “Corporations are Cool.” Pretty awesome, huh?


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