Paid update #1

I have a friend that keeps overdosing on the smallest shots. This puts me in the position of regularly having to either revive her myself or (when it’s especially bad) call 911 to get professionals to revive her. It’s really frustrating because she’s only injecting a small fraction of what I’m using and it’s stopping her breathing and (at least once) her heart when all she’s trying to do is get high. Meanwhile, I don’t give a shit about getting high; I’m just trying to kill myself. So I’m using exponentially larger amounts than she is but can’t even catch a nod, let alone stop my heart. I’ve even tried combining the heroin with alcohol and other drugs (all of which I hate using) and I just cannot seem to kill myself.

Is it just me or does heroin only seem to kill people that still have reasons to live?

Life isn’t fair. And apparently neither is death.

5 thoughts on “Paid update #1”

  1. Nope. It’s pretty much fatal to anyone and everyone if they continue it. It may be more harmful to you family than to you. The stress of watching helplessly can cause a heart attack in itself.

  2. I think if you really wanted to be dead and had no reason to live you’d be dead already, certainly not posting about it. Maybe you stay alive to keep your friend alive, that’s reason enough. Do you still live off McDuff? I had to have surgery awhile back and am off work awhile. Would be happy to come and see you. E-mail or FB message me.

  3. I hope you get better soon.. It’s not like you are some super human impervious to overdose. I worry about you.

Say somethin'.